Alice Coburn Kerrigan

Fitting 50 years of life into the single page allotted each person in our "50th Reunion Yearbook" has been a challenge for everyone. Some people responded by providing almost no detail, others by trying to cram in everything . . . some covered only the significant highlights, others only the positive highlights . . . and some skipped their own life entirely and talked about their spouses, kids and grandkids. Some simply said nothing.

 And then there is Alice who, with delightful humor and imagination, described a life that she says is far more interesting than her real one. Whether that is true or not, her contribution to the Reunion Yearbook is certainly the most entertaining one submitted!

 Having run away with the circus after my first marriage, I became a professional elephant trainer. Sadly, Bessie ran amok when she didn't like the color of toenail polish I put on her feet, and that job came to a tragic end. Since then, I have been a wing walker on the barn burning circuit, and a fry cook at a commune in southern France ( I left that job when the air conditioning broke).

After meeting my second husband I settled into a life of domesticity. It didn't agree with me. I took my two precious daughters and set out for the bright lights of New York City. After playing the lead in Gypsy, I met my third husband, Rupert. He was a bit of an ass, so I left him at Grand Central one night during a blizzard. Last I heard he was still there, often heard yelling my name.

Shortly afterward I left town with the girls and we found ourselves in the wilds of NH. I became a prized hunting and fishing guide. People came from all over the world just to watch me charm the fish onto the hook and the moose onto the highway. When I refused to tell the owner where any of my secret spots were, I was forced to leave that job as well.

I decided that I was much more valuable as a professional thinker, so struck out on my own. And here I sit, thinking, happily married with husband #4, waiting for the other shoe to drop.